The War Rages On

So, after my daily scouting on the net for the latest news on video games and stuff of the sort, I came upon this platter of slather and lies. I absolutely refuse to call this hunk of crap a review or any other kind of respectable name.

Upon first look, you can already tell the author is going to be biased towards the game he's reviewing. The game in question is Halo 3:ODST, which is still unreleased I mind you. What I find absolutely hilarious is that he spends his first page saying he's not going to bash the game at all, yet he spends three actually bashing the entire series. Not just ODST.

This "journalist" as he calls himself, is actually quite clever in the most annoying way. The dumb ass gets paid for every view he gets. Logical step? Make a bogus ODST review and enrage every Halo and MS fanboy out there, and then get Nintendo and Sony fanboys to join in. That's an easy few thousand views. This "intellectual," as he also erroneously calls himself, has pretty much started a second console war. While yes, I agree the console war has never really been appeased, and it has already been stirred up again due to the PS3 slim and Xbox price drop, but this guy has single handedly turned MS players against Nintendo and Sony players. And even the Wii and Sony players are turning on each other. It's just a mad house at this point. Even some of the neutral opinions have been turned to one side because there is just so much slander and babbling going on, you have no idea what's going on and you just have this sudden urge to fight in the mess as well.

Now onto his actually review. This dude seems to have some sort of sick, disgusting, twisted Wii-mote fetish. He practically worships the thing, hailing it as the best controller ever invented. Now, besides the fact that he just blatanly defined himself as a huge Nintedo fag, we now have this, and I quote, "...the dual wielding is there..."

Actually, smart one. It's not. Many people stopped reading after "dual wielding." They already knew the review was complete shit and only meant to stir up flaming. But some of us read on, entertained by the author's obvious lack of research on the game. "Same familiar weapons." He continues. Um. No. Silenced SMG? Silenced Auto Mag? No Battle Rifle? Plenty has changed from the "familiar" we've come to know. "Nothing new." You're right. VISR, Firefight, non-linear campaign, totally new environments. Yes, sir. You. Are. 100%. Right.

Now, I could go on about everything false statement in this guy's review, but I want you to read it for yourself. Yes, he's getting money, that sad, sad bastard, but at least you'll get a laugh out of it. It's four pages of off-topic, fanboy, Nintedo blow jobbing, bashing faggotry. A good two pages has absolutely nothing to do with ODST and a good one and a half pages has nothing to do with Halo in general at all.

This review has made me wonder so much today how one, stupid and uncreditable review can turn thousands of gamers upon one another. N4G has become a giant battle ground in the past few hours. Literally hundreds, yes, hundreds of gamers wreacking havoc in the forums, trying to assert their favorite console's dominance. Is this what gaming comes down to? Bogus reviews turning us into fanboys?

Now. Many of you... whoever is reading this, will define me as an Xbox fanboy. No, you dumb asses. It is perfectly acceptable to defend something's credibility from fanboys, before the damn thing even comes out. Once the game comes out, then you're free to hate all you want. Until then, keep your dumb ass opinions to yourself. They have no merit here and they just make you look like a bunch of butthurt puppies. And I'm talking to you Xbox fanboys as well. It's an OPINION. As long as you know Halo is the best selling gaming series and it's on the damn Xbox, what else do you guys have to worry about?

Now, to end this rant, all of you fanboys need to shut up now. This bogus piece of crap means nothing about the game, and if you agree with this crap...then you're just as big of an idiot and fanboy. "I R NO FANBOI! U IZ FANBOI!" Fanboy - someone who has great prejudice against something without experiencing or viewing it, generally because it hinders the success of something they support. You are the fanboy. If you think ODST sucks, you're a fanboy. It's just impossible to comprehend how you know a game sucks before it comes out. You can't, that's what. It's like walking into a clothing store blindfolded and saying, "Everything in this store looks like crap." It just makes you look like a fool. Now, grow a pair and wait until the game comes out, you fucking fanboys. Your faggotry astounds me.

ODST drops September 22, 2009. You're either going to buy it or not. Either way, Halo is still going to be successful for several years to come. Considering it already has 1.9 million pre-orders, you fanboys are going to be crying from some time. And to quote a famous video game character, "CRY S'MOOORRREEE!!"

Welcome

So yes. I have decided to make a blog. Many know me on Rooster Teeth and Bungie.net as the "wise ass" who doesn't take crap from anyone. And that remains true here, just like anywhere else on the internet.

To start things off about me, my name is Elias, I'm 17, I'm a guy (in case you couldn't tell by my name) and I currently live in New Jersey. I've always had a sort of knack for writing, but I never really applied it to anything other than the occasional English paper. I'm also a smart ass with a keyboard. So my next logical step was to combine my two talents and my biggest hobby, gaming, into one nicely wrapped package with metallic silver wrapping paper. You know, the kind you get on Christmas morning that glistens in your face screaming, "You know you want to open me, but my packaging is just so damn perfect you don't want to." That's how I like to think of this blog. I'm going to have some ideas you want to read and that you know you'll want to read, but in the end, the pay off may be nothing other than arousing your anger or disappointment that I did not take your side. Sort of like opening said present and you get some underwear. That's when you wish you never opened that shiny, beautiful present.

So. The Broken Controller. Where in the hell could I have gotten such a ridiculous name like that? Well, let me describe this blog first. It should help you to better understand the name. I've noticed lately I've been involved in many, many flame wars online, be it gaming or otherwise. So, without any fancy metaphors or anything of the sort, this blog will be dedicated to my ideas on the latest gaming/internet flame wars and video games in general. One day I can talk about a flame war about racism, the next day I could be talking about my view on Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2's multiplayer. It will always change up. Now. Logically flame wars = anger, amirite? But what about video games? Aren't they supposed to be fun? How could anger overshadow such a fun type of entertainment? Oh, I wish you knew. Generally, when you get angry at a game, you would do such unnatural things as throwing your controller or banging on your piece of crap console. Well. I'm guilty of throwing my controllers out of my window. -_- Halo 3, man, it gets to me sometimes.

Anyway. A lot of this blog has to deal with the anger of the internet community and revealing it. Since it also has to do a lot with video gaming, I think you can put two and two together and see why it's called "The Broken Controller." I think it's a good name. Broken Joystick would have been good, but to me, it seems like I'm copying off of Joystiq.com.

So, I believe that's all for my introduction. I might post one more thing today as I've found an interesting topic about a hotly anticipated Xbox titled. The topic, or should I say "review", set the online community into an uproar, brining back the age old argument of 2005 and 2006. The good 'ol console wars. My favorite. Yummy. Be back soon. :)